Battleaxe- "So....are you a CARPET LOVER?" OH YES SHE DID!!
Me- " I love to MUNCH carpets, I love 'em so much!" OH YES I DID!! (COME ON. SHE SET HERSELF UP RIGHT?)
STAY WITH ME IT GETS BETTER!!
Battleaxe- "So....you are a CARPET MUNCHER?" Swear to GOD; she actually asked me that!
Me- "Oh Yeah, I'm a carpet muncher from waaayyy back"
Battleaxe- "Are you trying to talk dirty to me?"
Me- "Are you calling me a CARPETMUNCHER?"
Just then, her husband hears me say, "Calling me a CARPET MUNCHER?" and asks his wife the battleaxe "What the HELL ARE YOU DOING DORIS?"
The husband was the OWNER OF THE CARPET STORE! I told him how his wife was calling me a "Carpet Muncher" and how I didn't appreciate be called those nasty names.
He then APOLOGIZED for his wife's ABHORRENT BEHAVIOUR, saying "I don't know what get's into her sometimes!" " I heard her call you a "CARPETMUNCHER" and that is absolutely OUTRAGIOUS!"
He then said to me, I swear to God I am NOT MAKING THIS UP, " Tell you a secret, I'M A CARPET MUNCHER TOO, AND DORIS JUST LOVES IT!"