On a personal note...

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VelvetGeorge
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Re: On a personal note...

Post by VelvetGeorge » Fri Jun 13, 2014 3:20 pm

Thanks for the encouragement and support! Very much appreciated.

redgtr, thanks for sharing your experience! Fighting the anti-man bias is family court has been beyond frustrating. The Mom seems to get away with everything under the Sun, is never held accountable. While I am guilty until proven innocent of every crazy accusation made. The same false accusations have been made over and over and over since day one, and the onus is on me to disprove these every time.

I provide a stable, loving, healthy environment for my kids. They are safe, attended to, reinforced, encouraged to learn things, their confidence and identity are built naturally and lovingly. They thrive on the structure and care they get while with me. It's the antithesis of what they get at the other home (when they are even there, my Son spends more time with his Grandparents 40 miles away than at my Ex's house).

I remain diligent and we let the judge know I'm not going away. He will have to advocate on their behalf, so hopefully that happens soon. I hope that we can get changes made this Summer and be settled in by the time school starts in the Fall. We can be well into a new, healthier routine by the first day of school.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Fri Jun 13, 2014 3:33 pm

When the judge gave my kids an advocate things really started to move. You might want to try this angle, "I just want them to live with me where they have a home, until she gets settled. :wink: (they hardly do) They're being bounced around too much, no stability." That is a fair request.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by VelvetGeorge » Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:03 pm

Oh yeah, the court assigned a guardian ad litem about 2 months ago. I met with her for over 2 1/2 hours and provided piles of documentation and evidence showing the neglect and abuse my kids are subjected to, the documented lies my ex has told, the police reports and so on. Everything she needed to advocate on their behalf. We got her report this week and it was completely false in every way. It indicated I had been arrested and convicted of domestic abuse and DUI's, both false. It characterized me as an abusive, alcoholic who my kids are afraid of, also completely false.
She didn't visit my home, as she said she would. She didn't speak to my Mom, my girlfriend, Elly's teacher, Elly's doctor or the 2 local police officers who have been to my ex's numerous ties and said they would happily testify on the kids behalf.
She did speak to Elly's counselor, but in her report denounced the counselor's findings and undermined her professionalism and approach.
What should have been a key factor serving my kids best interest is instead a lazy recitation of lies and false accusations that I will have to go to court and disprove. At my expense!
It's clear to me that the GAD saw the levity of the situation and had no interest in engaging in this fight. The family court system let my kids down, yet again.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by Colossal » Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:41 pm

VelvetGeorge wrote:Oh yeah, the court assigned a guardian ad litem about 2 months ago. I met with her for over 2 1/2 hours and provided piles of documentation and evidence showing the neglect and abuse my kids are subjected to, the documented lies my ex has told, the police reports and so on. Everything she needed to advocate on their behalf. We got her report this week and it was completely false in every way. It indicated I had been arrested and convicted of domestic abuse and DUI's, both false. It characterized me as an abusive, alcoholic who my kids are afraid of, also completely false.
She didn't visit my home, as she said she would. She didn't speak to my Mom, my girlfriend, Elly's teacher, Elly's doctor or the 2 local police officers who have been to my ex's numerous ties and said they would happily testify on the kids behalf.
She did speak to Elly's counselor, but in her report denounced the counselor's findings and undermined her professionalism and approach.
What should have been a key factor serving my kids best interest is instead a lazy recitation of lies and false accusations that I will have to go to court and disprove. At my expense!
It's clear to me that the GAD saw the levity of the situation and had no interest in engaging in this fight. The family court system let my kids down, yet again.

george
George,

This is horrific. I hope that you will contest the report if it is that patently false. It sounds like she is confusing details from another case! Regardless, it is a disgrace. These so called advocates play with the outcome of people's lives; least they could do is do the job. The key word as you stated is laziness. I sure hope you can sort this mess out. Good luck man.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:26 am

Here in Atlanta there is a law firm that specializes in men's rights in regards to divorce and their children. I hope you can find something like that where you live. It seems like a good attorney would be able to break it off in these people.
Last edited by redgtr on Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by VelvetGeorge » Sat Jun 14, 2014 12:16 pm

What I have found is that the family court system here in Genesee County is a very small, tightly knit group of judges and attorneys. They definitely stick together, thick as thieves. Having been through 2 lawyers so far and consulting with at least 3 others to date, I do think I have finally got the right guy for the job. The judge clearly loves him and gives him priority every time I have seen him in court. In fact, now that my new attorney has made the allegations against my ex it is the first time the judge has not blown it off completely. He assigned the Guardian to the children after we came to court and said there were issues, no questions asked.

I'm in court Tuesday, we'll see how it goes.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:40 pm

Well good. Man I'm cheering for ya. I know what it's like. Let us know how it goes tues if it's not too personal. Maybe it will be a good day!

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by rgorke » Mon Jun 16, 2014 11:11 pm

George,

I had no idea it was this bad. You are doing the right thing and I know you won't give in or give up. I am glad you got the forum up and running agin so that the thousands of guys on here can support you, whether they know the details or not.

I could not imagine your pain. Keep up the fight, you kids are worth it.

Finally, I hope amp building can help provide some sort of positive distraction for your life.

We'll keep praying.

Roger
"If you make a mistake, do it twice and smile and let people think you meant it." Jan Van Halen.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by VelvetGeorge » Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:40 pm

Thanks all. Nothing was accomplished today. Waste of time and money. Couodn't even resolve a scheduling conflict for next month when my Dad comes to Michigan from Florida. I have to file a motion and hope it goes before the judge in time to get somethng done. I won't hold my breath.

Not happy. The status quo continues.


George
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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:51 pm

It's amazing how inefficient this system is! It's set up to grease the pockets of attorneys and nothing more! And to make matters worse it's so embedded into the culture that everyone thinks this grossly inefficient is the way it HAS to be. The REFORM we need in this country is for politicians, attorneys and judges. :twisted:

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by VelvetGeorge » Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:16 pm

I couldn't agree more. A massive ennema would be a good start.

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:51 pm

This is what happens when people get to secure in their positions and feel they're above reproach

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by Ferrari-Dude » Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:22 pm

VelvetGeorge wrote:I couldn't agree more. A massive ennema would be a good start.

George
You should wire up a fully charged bank of 100uF caps to the ennema bottle.
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Re: On a personal note...

Post by chrisom » Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:58 am

While this usually only happens to the guys, I saw a similar situation with a lady friend of mine. It seems like once the powers that be make up their mind privately, they use the entire system that's supposed to be there to look out for the best interests of the children, and use it instead as set of mechanisms to justify their prejudiced opinions and to implement the carrying out of their misguided objectives. They then sleep well at night and use their actions as examples of how "they helped children" at election time or on their career resumes. That's why I have almost no use or tolerance for social workers, psychologists, school guidence counselors, advocates and the like. If you saw the private lives of these so-called public servants, you would find they have no clue who is a good parent and who isn't. They are only going through the motions of their "training" and state and local policies. As one who suffered through "the system" for 20 years being a single father who was always on time for support and visitations, I was never treated any better than someone they had to drag back across the state lines kicking and screaming. If any of you are the non-custodial parent, I feel for you. What ever happens, keep being there for your kids. It eventually gets better, either sooner or later. Hopefully sooner though. :scratch:

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Re: On a personal note...

Post by redgtr » Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:17 am

Your so right chrisom, my current wife works at a daycare and she sees how these people raise their own kids. They are usually crippled with idealology. Just a note on sticking with it, my daughter always thanks me for what I did and is always telling her sorry friends "I wasn't raised that way" so I get rewarded for all the bs every time I see her.
Last edited by redgtr on Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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