Long Island (NY)

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:51 pm

My blood brothers will love this, those who have been there will probably find it amusing, for those who haven't ... a slice of what it's like!

I appreciate this even more now living in California....

> > LONG ISLAND

> > You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world,
> > but you almost never go there.
> >
> When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're
> > there, you don't >

> > You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not
> > really from New York
> >
> > You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau
> > simply on intuition

> > You don't go to Manhattan , you go to 'The City'.
> >
> >
> >
> > You never realize you have an accent till you leave.
> >
> >
> >
> > Everything north of the Bronx is 'upstate.' New Jersey sucks.
> >
> >
> >
> > At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
> >
> >
> >
> > Either your parents or your grandparents lived in the city.
> >
> >
> >
> > You'd pay $11.50 for a movie.
> >
> >
> >
> > You don't live in Long Island You live ON Long
> > Island
> >
> >
> >
> > Your distant future might involve the state of Florida
> >
> >
> >
> > You can correctly pronounce places like
> > Patchogue,Ronkonkoma , Hauppauge, Wantagh, Mineola, Islandia,
> > Massapequa
> >
> >
> >
> > You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36
> > 7-11's.
> >
> >
> >
> > You never, ever want to 'change at Jamaica...
> >
> >
> >
> > 'You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
> >
> >
> >
> > No, you don't want mustard on that burger!!
> >
> >
> >
> > You can't understand why a diner would ever close.
> >
> >
> >
> > You've had a seagull crap on your car.
> >
> >
> >
> > You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR
> > and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington
> > or Hicksville
> >
> >
> >
> > You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food
> > sucks but you periodically 'Get the Crave'.
> >
> >
> >
> > You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would
> > probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan
> >
> >
> >
> > You think that somehow, the Jets and Giants still play in New York
> >
> >
> >
> > You've missed that 'Drunk Train', the 2:42 out of Penn and
> > had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
> >
> >
> >
> > You or someone you know has owned an animal that came from
> > North Shore Animal League.
> >
> >
> >
> > Quick! Who's your county Executive ? Don't know do you?!
> >
> >
> >
> > You've never taken an MTA bus.
> >
> >
> >
> > The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody
> > thinks.
> >
> >
> >
> > You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
> >
> >
> >
> > You know which parts of the godfather were filmed on Long
> > Island
> >
> >
> >
> > You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy
> > watching it grow up.
> >
> >
> >
> > Billy Joel said it best, 'either you date a rich girl from
> > The North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore '.
> >
> >
> >
> > You don't really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you
> > got smashed at the Bordy Barn.
> >
> >
> >
> > When people ask 'where are you from?' you answer Long Guy
> > Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that
> > answer means New York.
> >
> >
> >
> > You've always liked Billy Joel and you own several of his 're
> > cords.'
> >
> >
> >
> > The Belt Parkway sucks!
> >
> >
> >
> > You've been stuck in a traffic jam for more than 2 hours
> > (without moving).
> >
> >
> >
> > Your parents took you to All American, Nathan's or Carvel
> > (on the way home from the beach).
> >
> >
> >
> > Regular gas - $3.29 and you still pay it!!!
> >
> >
> >
> > You hate paying tolls.
> >
> >
> >
> > You don't have to go far to see your family.
> >
> >
> >
> > You remember Grumman.
> >
> >
> >
> > You know the color of the water at Jones Beach is not BLUE!
> >
> >
> >
> > You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's
> > and Arby's closed for good.
> >
> >
> >
> > You can spout off all the LIRR stops between Penn Station and
> > Huntington.
> >
> >
> >
> > Paying $35 for a haircut doesn't sound so crazy.
> >
> >
> >
> > You think the people from Brooklyn are 'da wunz dat tawk wit a
> > accent.'
> >
> >
> >
> > You went sledding in the sumps.
> >
> >
> >
> > You knew of Massapequa before the Amy Fisher-Joey Buttafuoco
> > nightmare.
> >
> >
> >
> > You think going to Queens is a hike.
> >
> >
> >
> > The first time you heard the term 'Long Island Iced Tea'
> > you were somewhere else and you laughed.
> >
> >
> >
> > When you live somewhere else and are astounded to see that
> > people actually stop at yellow lights.
> >
> >
> >
> > When you just sort of presume that wherever you live,
> > you'll be able to find good delis, good pizza, and good bagels.
> >
> >
> >
> > You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island
> >
> >
> >
> > When you walk in the city and you see two men holding
> > hands... it becomes normal to you.
> >
> >
> >
> > No word ends in an ER, just an AH.
> >
> >
> >
> > You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other
> > friends from Long Island

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:47 pm

Man, what a great post, Chief. I know some of our brothers here are not gonna get the significance of these statements, but trust me... if you've lived here, every friggin' one of them is true!!

I wanna comment on just about every one of those statements, but one in particular stands out:
"You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York".

This one stands out cause its true. If you're from upstate, sorry... you might as well be from fuckin' Kansas.

Having lived most of my life on Long Island, and some of my life in Manhattan, I can relate to every bit of it. Very, very cool.

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:31 pm

I knew you'd love this, fill!

And, if you're from Buffalo you're from Canada, not NY. No offense Will!).

The only one that's BS is the "Lawn Guy Land" shit. NOBODY from there says it that like.

Hey, fill I especially love the one about the drunk train and hanging with the homeless 'till 5am for the next train at PENN. TOOOO many times!

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:08 pm

NY Chief wrote: Hey, fill I especially love the one about the drunk train and hanging with the homeless 'till 5am for the next train at PENN. TOOOO many times!

Ohh, man... the alky express. I took that home more times than I can count.
You KNOW its all goin' wrong when the Penn Station bums start knowing you by name...

/

monsterwalley · Post by **monsterwalley** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:59 am

sorry... you might as well be from fuckin' Kansas.

Ouch...

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:27 pm

monsterwalley wrote:
sorry... you might as well be from fuckin' Kansas.

Ouch...

DAMN!! I KNEW someone was gonna be here from Kansas. No dis intended, MW... it was just the first state I thought of!! My bad.

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:38 pm

I'm surprised you didn't say Jersey, fill!

monsterwalley · Post by **monsterwalley** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 6:44 pm

fillmore nyc wrote:
monsterwalley wrote:
sorry... you might as well be from fuckin' Kansas.

Ouch...
DAMN!! I KNEW someone was gonna be here from Kansas. No dis intended, MW... it was just the first state I thought of!! My bad.

Yeah, I know, Dorothy, Toto yada yada..... everybody pounds us.

It's all good tho.

Does it help that I live in MANHATTAN, Kansas AKA " the little apple"?

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:52 pm

monsterwalley wrote:Does it help that I live in MANHATTAN, Kansas AKA " the little apple"?

Totally redeems you, my friend, and makes me feel like even more of a jackass... this is the ignorance of a true NY'er... I didnt even know there was a Manhattan in Kansas.

Seriously, though, how is it living in Kansas? Are tornado's really that much of a threat near you? I have a picture of it in my head of it being super-rural, with no houses for miles. Nothing but flat, open land.
(Maybe I've seen The Wizard Of Oz once too many times!!)

Billy Batz · Post by **Billy Batz** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:27 pm

Hey ya got Witchita and Kansas City.

monsterwalley · Post by **monsterwalley** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:35 pm

Seriously, though, how is it living in Kansas? Are tornado's really that much of a threat near you? I have a picture of it in my head of it being super-rural, with no houses for miles. Nothing but flat, open land

.

Yeah, we have the occasional twister, usually south of us. I think the last few years havent been as bad as the southern states.

I'm two hours west of kansas city, not a bad trip. Our population is about 25,000 with out k-state. Once the students are here it is usually around 48,000. We also have Fort Riley here and they are supposed to be bringing in a bunc of troops. So we are building like crazy, Our population
will probably grow by a third in the next few years.

But yeah, west of us to colorado pretty much bites. just what you said "open land".

My wife and I made a trip through New York (by accident) years ago. Scared the absolute shit out of myself!!!!!!!! We were driving to Cape Cod and can't remember how (Think Man that won't get directions) but our original route was under construction or something, anyway some how We ended up at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel during rush our traffic.

From there it was a blur. I wasnt sure where we were when we came out, just started heading north. Long story short after about 4 hours I finally emerged from the city not sure how but vowed I never would go back!! Now I want to go back, Everybody I talk to that has been there loves it. Just need to have a plan and a TAXI next time

monsterwalley · Post by **monsterwalley** » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:37 pm

Billy Batz wrote:Hey ya got Witchita and Kansas City.

Hell yeah Kansas City rocks! Havent spent much time in Wichita tho.

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:37 am

monsterwalley wrote: My wife and I made a trip through New York (by accident) years ago. Scared the absolute shit out of myself!!!!!!!! We were driving to Cape Cod and can't remember how (Think Man that won't get directions) but our original route was under construction or something, anyway some how We ended up at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel during rush our traffic. From there it was a blur. I wasnt sure where we were when we came out, just started heading north. Long story short after about 4 hours I finally emerged from the city not sure how but vowed I never would go back!! Now I want to go back, Everybody I talk to that has been there loves it. Just need to have a plan and a TAXI next time

Well, if you were at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel, you were still in Jew Jersey, and that area of Jersey is a complete shit-fest as far as trying to make heads or tails of the streets there. I was in that area last weekend trying to find Hoboken Vintage Guitars (a very small, but very awesome store) and it took me at least a half an hour to find the place AFTER I came out of the tunnel into NJ, and the store is within a mile of the tunnel!!

NYC itself, I cant really comment on. I've lived in the city long enough that its become 2nd nature to me. What you said before, about being scared shit MUST be legit, cause Ive heard that many times from out of state folks that have never been in the city. It must seem overwhelming.

Hey, I have friends that live out on Long Island that feel the same way!!

My plan is to move to some place more rural when I stop working, and I dont know yet how Im gonna assimilate to THAT. The "energy" of the city is pretty deep in my system. Going to a quiet place (say, for vacation) is great, but somehow, I still look forward to getting back to the rhythm and pulse that IS this great city.

monsterwalley · Post by **monsterwalley** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:55 am

It must seem overwhelming.

Yeah that was the only problem, I had LOST ALL CONTROL of the situation. I was the only car in a sea of yellow cabs. And man must i have stuck out. Kansas plates, Maps all over the dash, and luggage in the back seat, and two people with shear terror in there eyes.

I can't figure out tho, when we entered the tunnel going into the city I was with a bunch of "civilian" cars. When we came out of the tunnel it was all Taxi's.

Does going through the tunnel change all the cars to taxis

. Thats all I saw were taxis. never seen so many before.

Seriously, I want to go back (fly in and get a taxi) this time. I've heard nothing but great things from the people I know that have been there.

Billy Batz · Post by **Billy Batz** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 10:05 am

monsterwalley wrote: I can't figure out tho, when we entered the tunnel going into the city I was with a bunch of "civilian" cars. When we came out of the tunnel it was all Taxi's. Does going through the tunnel change all the cars to taxis . Thats all I saw were taxis. never seen so many before.

Lol. Your experience shows why taxis & subways are the preferred method of travel in NYC. I usually drive when I go up there but to get anywhere in a decent amount of time you must avoid rush hour- which has traffic backed up 20 miles into the city on the Trpk or Prkway- and drive so aggressive people would think your ready to run down a sea of crossing school children. Ive never seen aggressive driving the likes of NYC cabies anywhere. But if you wait for someone to let you in a lane or wait to turn on a light your not getting anywhere. Its expected you cut people off to change lanes and the amount of trucks double and triple parked means people are changing lanes everywhere.