One of those bastard nights

ozdude · Post by **ozdude** » Mon May 05, 2008 10:33 am

About a month ago me and a friend had to go do a job that we normally do every couple of weeks. The drive there is down a highway, two lanes each way separated by a fairly wide medium strip. It winds through mainly farmland so at nights in places it gets pretty dark, which it was this particular night. I was driving along at 100k's relaxed and not particularly attentive as its an easy cruise. Suddenly I spot something large lying across the road and take evasive action with my heart in my throat, slow down and stop. Get out the car and its a mattress! I am slightly pissed off as I'm thinking some asshole has probably just dumped it. I pull it off the road and we get going again. As we drive along we have a good laugh about it. A couple of minutes further on we spot another obstruction, slow down and its another mattress! Swearing, I get out of the car again and drag it off the road. This time the conversation gets more critical and we talk about the hooligans that would do such an irresponsible thing, even if it did fall off someone trailer they are still a pack of assholes for not tying on their load! We managed to get to the job without further incident.
Two hours later we are on our way back home up the same road looking forward to a coffee as its past midnight by now. The conversation turns back to the mattresses and we have a chuckle. Suddenly my friend calls "watch out" at the same time that I see several large objects lying across the road. I manage to stop with a couple of meters to spare. This time its two mattresses! By this time I'm swearing and carrying on and tell my friend to call the cops, enough is enough! While they are on the phone I'm dragging two king sized mattresses off the road and its a windy night on top of it, the mattresses are like sails once righted and threaten to blow me into the ditch. Back in the car and on our way again with my friend still on the phone to the cops. A minute later more!!! This time its another mattress and a bed base complete with wheels! After that session the night doesn't seem to feel so cold anymore and I am out of breath as I get back in the car. By then I would have not been at all surprised if we had come at a dead elephant, though fortunately we made it home without further stops.

NitroLiq · Post by **NitroLiq** » Mon May 05, 2008 12:12 pm

Could've been worse...you could've been on a motorcycle.

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Mon May 05, 2008 12:49 pm

NitroLiq wrote:Could've been worse...you could've been on a motorcycle.

+1

worldoftone · Post by **worldoftone** » Mon May 05, 2008 5:05 pm

I shudder thinking of that!

- WOT

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Mon May 05, 2008 5:12 pm

NY Chief wrote:
NitroLiq wrote:Could've been worse...you could've been on a motorcycle.
+1

+2

thousandshirts · Post by **thousandshirts** » Mon May 05, 2008 8:26 pm

Weird. Sounds like something out of the Twilight Zone. Whatever you do, don't tell Tourism Australia about this.

ozdude · Post by **ozdude** » Tue May 06, 2008 3:56 am

Yeah it was weird, and also very annoying. All along I kept thinking what if an elderly person had come across them, panicked and lost control, didn't think of a motorcycle, that could have been very nasty. Don't think Tourism Australia would be too worried about it after Lara Bingle lol.

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Tue May 06, 2008 7:29 am

That incident is so strange, I thought you were telling a joke when I was reading it. I couldnt imagine what the punch line was gonna be! I wonder what the reason was that all those mattresses were in the road??

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Tue May 06, 2008 11:23 am

Were the Corleone's at it again with the Tattaligia's and Barzini's???

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Tue May 06, 2008 5:23 pm

NY Chief wrote:Were the Corleone's at it again with the Tattaligia's and Barzini's???

Eh, you know what became of Don Bardzini... 'e aint lookin' so good anymore. Maybe 'e could use doz mattresses ta take a little rest, ya know, Chief???

/

NitroLiq · Post by **NitroLiq** » Tue May 06, 2008 5:26 pm

I don't know 'nuthin 'bout no mattresses!
Oh, those?
Dey was perfectly secure and I don't know what yer tawkin about.
I do not recawl.
I do not recawl.
I do not recawl.

fillmore nyc · Post by **fillmore nyc** » Tue May 06, 2008 10:23 pm

NitroLiq wrote:I don't know 'nuthin 'bout no mattresses!
Oh, those?
Dey was perfectly secure and I don't know what yer tawkin about.
I do not recawl.
I do not recawl.
I do not recawl.

Dont you be booshittin' us, Nitro... You's know ALL ABOUT what went down ova dere wit doze mattresses. Dey was about as secure as yer alibi, ah-ight?? You know jus' EGG-ZAKKLY what we'z tawkin' about. Maybe a nice fittin' pair a cee-ment boots will help you's wit dat recawlin'...

/

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Wed May 07, 2008 11:26 am

...and Luca Brasi still sleeps wit da fishes...

My Uncle Tony the Shrimp called the other day said he had a deal on a few matteress that "fell off the truck......"

ozdude · Post by **ozdude** » Thu May 08, 2008 3:47 am

All I can put it down to is that some idiot tied the mattresses/bed to a trailer and lost them within the vicinity that we found them. The wind was pretty strong and could easily have scattered them across the opposite lanes as they came flying off. They were all in near-new condition so I doubt it was just an irresponsible dump.

NY Chief · Post by **NY Chief** » Thu May 08, 2008 11:00 am

ozdude wrote:All I can put it down to is that some idiot tied the mattresses/bed to a trailer and lost them within the vicinity that we found them. The wind was pretty strong and could easily have scattered them across the opposite lanes as they came flying off. They were all in near-new condition so I doubt it was just an irresponsible dump.

There is typical ethnic group here in SoCal that move their entire household possesions in one shot on Uncle Jose's truck. The shit is piled 12 feet high, on the hood, hanging off the back, listing hard to one side and the wheels rubbing in the wheel wells. Shit is always falling off. And they get mad at me when I ride by and wave them the bird....ASSHOLES!