Made a Bold Move

[mightymike]

A few years back I lost everything after my divorce in Jan 2008. I used to own a home that was almost paid for, and an 18 Wheeler Tractor Trailer that was paid for. I was really doing well for myself, but found myself underwater, and forced to sell.

Since then I have rented places, or lived with women. Almost got married a couple times, but just doggie paddling through life.
So last July I packed my stuff up, moved out of my Ex Fiance's house, put all my stuff in storage, and now am driving in the OTR (Over The Road) division of my company.

I'm making more money doing this, and after all my expenses (including Child Support), I'm still able to save at least $500 a week. That's over 50k saved in 2 years.

I've been literally driving all over the place. From Florida, to Montana, back down to Laredo, to Minneapolis, through the Midwest, Up and down the East. I could even go Canada.

I just got done working 5 weeks straight and took a little off time this past weekend to take my son Josh to Disney. Heading back out tomorrow.

If I stay strong, and pull this off, I can have a nice down payment on a house in 2 years. Enough to where one weeks paycheck will pay all my bills, and both my Boys will have their own room when they come to visit.

Whenever I get lonely out there. I think about guys like StunDouble who are out there risking their lives, or other's with no job, and try to be grateful that I am in the position to get ahead. I even put up a dating profile and have a few pretty ladies to chat with. They know my situation, and are still interested. Go figure...

Who who knows.... Maybe I'll be driving through a town near you.. With the Boneyard Blasting in my 2011 Freightliner Cascadia

[myfoot]

Hey if you're coming thru the Quad Cities and are close to http://iowa80truckstop.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; That's about 20 minutes from my house.

[redgtr]

I feel your pain bro. It's looking more and more like I'll have to go OTR as well. Didn't care much for it last time, but what can you do?

[fillmore nyc]

I even put up a dating profile and have a few pretty ladies to chat with. They know my situation, and are still interested. Go figure...

I think there are SO many people in the same boat as you, Mike, that lots of women respect a guy thats been thru some shit, and is still willing to give it a 2nd chance.
When I went thru my divorce, a close friend of mine (one of the better psychotherapists in NYC) said that he feels that 1st marriages almost HAVE to end... the pain and self-examination that (should) follow is where we learn what a marriage is really about, and what it actually requires to stay together for the long haul.
In my opinion, the people that DONT self examine, and find a scapegoat to blame their issues on, are the same people that have 4 or 5 marriages under their belt, doomed to repeat the pattern until they realize that they are a co-conspirator in what happened too.
Its a tough road, man, but a lot of us have been there.

[VelvetGeorge]

Good for you Mike! Stay on course with your plan. It sounds like you have your priorities in order and are making and meeting short and long term goals. That will keep you sane.

Also agree on the divorce points. I haven't posted anything about it but mine was final about 6 weeks ago. I'm still digesting the outcome and adjusting to life after marriage. Despite fighting in court for 18 months, taking the high road, doing what's best for the kids at every turn etc, I got railroaded through the system like every other man does. I'm left financially ruined and any improvements I make to my situation it's a given that she will come after it. She already made that clear in and out of court.

I'm keeping my head up and looking forward. Spending as much time as possible with my kids and we have great relationships, which makes all the bleak other stuff less overwhelming.

For me it seems like getting screwed in divorce is a rite of passage that most men experience these days. I feel like I joined the club. Sounds like you did as well. It says much about your character that you have dealt with it and are moving forward with what's best for you and your kids. I'm there too Bro.

george

[chrisom]

By living cheap like Mike described, I finally made it to the light at the end of the tunnel after 20 years. It was rough sometimes. Sometimes your kids don't like it when you're "poor"...

My daughter sent me a Father's Day card last year with a picture of Luke training to be a Jedi while carying Yoda around in his backpack on the swamp planet. The caption read- "Even though it felt like you were on my back at times, I knew it was for my own good". Validation.

Saw the ex at my daughter's college graduation a while back. Sent up a prayer of thanks to God. She wasn't lookin' too good... She finally ditched the guy she used as muscle against me for 20 years, and traded him in on some rich guy 15 years older than her. He didn't look good either. (she's) Not my problem anymore.

[Guitar Adjuster]

Mike, post a pic of your Rig, I go to Laredo a few times a month along IH35 from San Antonio, I will watch out for ya!

Allen

PS--I hate that drive!

[mightymike]

Awesome replies all. So many great points. Agree that the divorce laws really screw us guys in custody, and the bread winner with spousal support. I can see splitting assets accumulated during a marriage, but why do I owe you a lifestyle? I almost got married again a couple times, but the more I think of it, I'm not so sure I will ever get married, and if I do there will have to be a prenup. I feel like getting a Visectomy too.

But check this out. You guys are going to laugh. When I went to Disney last weekend with my 9 year old son Josh, the exwife came too. We stayed in the same hotel room. It had 2 queen beds with her sleeping with the kid in the other. Just like old times!!

My son couldn't have been happier. She went after me hard in the divorce, but when my older son Jake had health problems we had to be there for each other, and both of us burried the hatchet. (and not in each other's back). We realize that we're good friends in the end. We talk all the time, but she's more like a sister now. She could go after me for more child support, oand some medical bills, but she knows I'm going to keep paying child support on my older son who has Chrons disease till he's 26, and she'll keep him insured. (Unless he graduates college and get's a great job that insures him 1st)

As far a living cheap. I can't believe it I'm losing weight over the road eating healthy, and I go for powerwalks around the truck stop. I'm living dirt cheap, and will definately be heading by the IOWA 80 truck Stop.

And reaguarding the women. I'm amazed at how fast they whip out the naughty pictures. But yes they do respect what I'm doing. I figured it would be hard to meet someone if they knew you would be out of town for weeks at a time. I figure you might as well put married on your profile, but your right, they like a man with a plan.... Although one contacted me and said she was hurt by a trucker who had several women scattered around the country at his different stops..... hmmmmm

[mightymike]

Mike, post a pic of your Rig, I go to Laredo a few times a month along IH35 from San Antonio, I will watch out for ya!

Allen

PS--I hate that drive!

I've been layed over at New Braunfels twice in the last month.

[Smokin Tone]

Awesome Mike! If you come through Louisville, KY pm me and I'll buy lunch (or dinner).

[OnTheFritz]

Mike, if you're ever in South East Michigan, post a shout out here! I'll buy you a beer!

[spaceace76]

awesome move mike. best of luck to ya, and if you're in central jersey, let me know and i'll set you up with a movie at my job!

[mightymike]

You guys are the best!

[redgtr]

Since we are telling war stories, I'd like to encourage you guys with mine. My 1st tried to make my life hell. Put me in jail a couple of times for 1 month back child support Finally judge told her to leave me alone unless I was 90 days past due But guys we can make their lives miserable too! i.e. no guys are to visit after 9 pm etc. For example my attorney told me that if she wasn't acting right around my kids I was a sorry father for letting it happen. That made me feel like crap and eventually I used defacs to get custody of my daughter So stand up and fight back guys, women are so sorry nowadays that judges are awarding custody to fathers everyday and gladly. Here in Ga. you don't even have to prove them unfit you just got to prove you can provide a better inviroment!

[redgtr]

BTW George, you can get them for harrassment here too! i.e. all the time trying to up child support. In Ga. if you can get her new boyfriend to assault you and you have a decent place to stay you automatically get custody.