Metropoulos Forum

Chinese Wedding Night

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.
Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband
undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her, and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry
flighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss
anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound
experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her
request.

She eventually shyly whispers back, "I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69." More thoughtful silence from him. Eventually, in a
puzzled tone he asks her....

'You want....... garlic chicken wif snow peas?"

Good one, Footie!!

You reminded me of one thats been sitting dormant in my head for a while:

A newly married Polish couple enter their wedding suite, ready for their "first time".
They both get undressed, the husband looking extremely nervous, stammering around the room and continually glancing at his new bride.
She whispers to him, "Stan, dont you know what to do"??

Nervously, he nods "No I dont... its my first time".

She says "Oh, thats ok, Stan. Its simple!! Ill explain... You take that thing that you play with, put it where I pee, and move it around a bit".
Stan replies "Really?? Thats it"???

His new wife replies "Yes Stan... thats all there is to it"!!

So Stan threw his bowling ball in the sink, and began rolling it around...

fillmore nyc wrote:

Good one, Footie!!

You reminded me of one thats been sitting dormant in my head for a while:

A newly married Polish couple enter their wedding suite, ready for their "first time".
They both get undressed, the husband looking extremely nervous, stammering around the room and continually glancing at his new bride.
She whispers to him, "Stan, dont you know what to do"??

Nervously, he nods "No I dont... its my first time".

She says "Oh, thats ok, Stan. Its simple!! Ill explain... You take that thing that you play with, put it where I pee, and move it around a bit".
Stan replies "Really?? Thats it"???

His new wife replies "Yes Stan... thats all there is to it"!!

So Stan threw his bowling ball in the sink, and began rolling it around...

HEY!!! I heard that about the Italian newlyweds! "Take the hardest thing you got and put it where she pee's...."

NY Chief wrote:HEY!!! I heard that about the Italian newlyweds! "Take the hardest thing you got and out it where she pee's...."

I dont know why women think they're so lucky to be getting married anyway. They know up front that they're NOT standing up there with the BEST man... HE'S in the wedding party.