Darwin awards
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:56 pm
Just got this year's list:
> >>> >>In case you haven't received them yet, here are this
> >>year's Darwin Awards
> >>-- the annual honor given to the person who improved
> >>the "gene pool" the
> >>most by killing themselves in the most
> >>extraordinarily stupid way. As
> >>always, competition this year has been keen. And
> >>the candidates this year
> >>are.............
> >>
> >>* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and
> >>drowned in two feet of water
> >>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
> >>sewer grate to retrieve
> >>his car keys.
> >>
> >>* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
> >>"totally zoned when he ran,
> >>--accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on
> >>his daily run.
> >>
> >>* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an
> >>8-foot-deep hole he had dug into
> >>the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers
> >>said Daniel Jones, 21,
> >>dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,
> >>and had been sitting in a
> >>beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
> >>collapsed, burying him
> >>beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the
> >>outer banks, used their
> >>hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
> >>Jones, a resident of
> >>Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
> >>rescue workers using heavy
> >>equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
> >>people looked on.
> >>Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> >>
> >>* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA,
> >>as he fell face-first
> >>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
> >>burglarizing. Death was caused
> >>when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth
> >>(to keep his hands free)
> >>rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
> >>floor.
> >>
> >>
> >>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
> >>Selbyville, Del, as he won a
> >>bet with friends who said he would not put a
> >>revolver loaded with four
> >>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
> >>
> >>
> >>HONORABLE MENTION:
> >>* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
> >>township, NJ, and his wife
> >>Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of
> >>dynamite blew up in their
> >>car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
> >>lit the dynamite and tried
> >>to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
> >>but apparently
> >>failed to notice the window was closed.
> >>
> >>
> >>RUNNER UP:
> >>
> >>
> >>* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
> >>several friends when one
> >>of them said they knew a person who had
> >>bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
> >>Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The
> >>conversation grew more heated
> >>and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
> >>the bridge at
> >>4:30 AM.
> >>Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
> >>discovered that no one had
> >>brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
> >>drinking, volunteered and
> >>pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay
> >>nearby.
> >>One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's
> >>leg and the other end was
> >>tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
> >>the cable tightened and
> >>tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
> >>survived his fall into the
> >>icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
> >>fishermen. "All I can say"
> >>said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me
> >>on that night.
> >>There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's
> >>foot was never located.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>AND THE WINNER:
> >>
> >>
> >>Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
> >>(Paderborn, Germany) fed his
> >>constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal
> >>laxative and more than a
> >>bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
> >>plugged-up pachyderm finally
> >>let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200
> >>pounds of poop!
> >>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
> >>attempting to give the
> >>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved
> >>beast unloaded on him.
> >>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
> >>defecation knocked Mr.
> >>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on
> >>a rock and lay
> >>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate
> >>his bowels on top of him"
> >>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik
> >>Dern. '
> >>With no one there to help him, he lay under all that
> >>dung for at least an
> >>hour before a watchman came along, and during that
> >>time he suffocated. It
> >>seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
> >>proves that "Shit
> >>happens!"
>
> >>> >>In case you haven't received them yet, here are this
> >>year's Darwin Awards
> >>-- the annual honor given to the person who improved
> >>the "gene pool" the
> >>most by killing themselves in the most
> >>extraordinarily stupid way. As
> >>always, competition this year has been keen. And
> >>the candidates this year
> >>are.............
> >>
> >>* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and
> >>drowned in two feet of water
> >>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
> >>sewer grate to retrieve
> >>his car keys.
> >>
> >>* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
> >>"totally zoned when he ran,
> >>--accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on
> >>his daily run.
> >>
> >>* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an
> >>8-foot-deep hole he had dug into
> >>the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers
> >>said Daniel Jones, 21,
> >>dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,
> >>and had been sitting in a
> >>beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
> >>collapsed, burying him
> >>beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the
> >>outer banks, used their
> >>hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
> >>Jones, a resident of
> >>Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
> >>rescue workers using heavy
> >>equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
> >>people looked on.
> >>Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> >>
> >>* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA,
> >>as he fell face-first
> >>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
> >>burglarizing. Death was caused
> >>when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth
> >>(to keep his hands free)
> >>rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
> >>floor.
> >>
> >>
> >>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
> >>Selbyville, Del, as he won a
> >>bet with friends who said he would not put a
> >>revolver loaded with four
> >>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
> >>
> >>
> >>HONORABLE MENTION:
> >>* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
> >>township, NJ, and his wife
> >>Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of
> >>dynamite blew up in their
> >>car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
> >>lit the dynamite and tried
> >>to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
> >>but apparently
> >>failed to notice the window was closed.
> >>
> >>
> >>RUNNER UP:
> >>
> >>
> >>* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
> >>several friends when one
> >>of them said they knew a person who had
> >>bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
> >>Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The
> >>conversation grew more heated
> >>and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
> >>the bridge at
> >>4:30 AM.
> >>Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
> >>discovered that no one had
> >>brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
> >>drinking, volunteered and
> >>pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay
> >>nearby.
> >>One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's
> >>leg and the other end was
> >>tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
> >>the cable tightened and
> >>tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
> >>survived his fall into the
> >>icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
> >>fishermen. "All I can say"
> >>said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me
> >>on that night.
> >>There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's
> >>foot was never located.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>AND THE WINNER:
> >>
> >>
> >>Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
> >>(Paderborn, Germany) fed his
> >>constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal
> >>laxative and more than a
> >>bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
> >>plugged-up pachyderm finally
> >>let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200
> >>pounds of poop!
> >>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
> >>attempting to give the
> >>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved
> >>beast unloaded on him.
> >>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
> >>defecation knocked Mr.
> >>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on
> >>a rock and lay
> >>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate
> >>his bowels on top of him"
> >>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik
> >>Dern. '
> >>With no one there to help him, he lay under all that
> >>dung for at least an
> >>hour before a watchman came along, and during that
> >>time he suffocated. It
> >>seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
> >>proves that "Shit
> >>happens!"
>