Darwin Awards

[VelvetGeorge]

They get better? every year! This year's winner, the last one in this
string, is unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Every year it is amazing how people hurt and kill themselves. We
should be quite happy, though, that these folks have ensured that their
gene pool will not be spread any further.

Rick


THE DARWIN AWARDS 2004
5th RUNNER-UP
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam
pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift
towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department.
The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group
apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed
into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower
he hit was the one with its pad removed.

4th RUNNER-UP
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a St.
Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo
grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without
paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to
death.

3rd RUNNER-UP
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above
him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

2nd RUNNER-UP
"Man loses face at party" is what the headline read: A man at a West
Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in
Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup
truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24,
of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late
Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium
hooked to battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and
Stromyer said:'I'll show you how to set it off.' He put it into his
mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue
off", Payne added. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday
with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at
Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing
something like that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through
the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released
soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last
weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
Anonymous in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said
that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
would have been severed causing instant death. The initiation stunt is
under investigation.

THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
at the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had
18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the
nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck
over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds
heavier than Mr. Hawkins to hop the fence and then assist his friend
over. Unfortunately for Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the
other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself
crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along
with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling
from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes
below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed
his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself
from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The
sharp leaves scratched his entire body and worse, without the protection
of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters
worse still, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr.
Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a
rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he
put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, landing 30
feet below atop his friend, killing him. Police arrived to find the
crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead
from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John
under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum,
a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet
in the air. Congratulations gentlemen, you win.. Unbelievable!!

[5150loveeddie]

[Billy Batz]

I love these.

[Flames1950]

Of all the things I've done when sloshed, other than driving I've never come close to approaching this level of idiocy. Their award is well deserved.

[dirtydeeds22]

THE DARWIN AWARDS 2004
5th RUNNER-UP
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam
pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift
towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department.
The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group
apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed
into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower
he hit was the one with its pad removed.

We had a guy die of that here in Steamboat a few years ago. He didn't hit the ski lift, but got going so fast that the tumbles caused massive internal injuries.

Don't these make you think about the STUPID Shit you've survived!

[Hassan Chop]

Yeah. Like 13 years of riding a motorcycle every day and night, rain or shine, in Los Angeles traffic.

Well, you've got to die of something.

[Country Boy Shane]

Yeah. Like 13 years of riding a motorcycle every day and night, rain or shine, in Los Angeles traffic.

Well, you've got to die of something.

My shitty ass 100cc Hodaka Dirt Bike with a faulty clutch decided to rocket off when i had the clutch handle clenched... what the fuck! And then i went straight into a basketball pole.

[mightymike]

I don't know if this is at the Darwin awards because he didn't die, and thus his genes weren't removed
from the pool as to improve it, but this reminds me ofthe guy that hooked up weather baloons to his lawn chair.
(I think his dad was a pilot, and he always wanted to be one)
He ties it all to his pickup truck, get some beer, sanwhiches, a BB gun, and a knife.
He figures he'll float up slowly, hover at 100ft, and when he wants to come down, he'll just
shoot one of the balloons with the BB gun. But when he cut the rope , instead of floating up slowly, he shot up really fast. He was so high in
the air, that he was afraid to shoot the balloons. Next thing , he starts drifting over LAX, who spot him as he get caught in some kind of afternoon jet stream that starts to take him out to sea. Finally A Helicoptor came for him, but everytime it came close, it would blow him away.So they had to go way above him and lower a rope. When they got him on the ground, he was arrested, and when asked why. He said something stupid like, "Sometimes a guy just gets bored."