Billy Batz wrote:Did you guys just get picked up to be writers for a new star trek series or something?
Star Trek episodes, fillmore style: (Mr Spock): "Mr Batz, that is QUITE logical". (Dr. McCoy): Spock, have you lost your fucking mind"? (Mr. Spock): Dr, there is no reason to speak to me like that, you wrinkled old prick". (Capt Kirk): "Boys, boys... isnt it all about... love? Mr. Spock, do you remember when I banged that green chick... If I can do THAT, cant you and 'Bones' get along, you dumb pieces of shit"? (Mr. Spock): "Jim, you know that the doctor is prone to emotional outbursts, and being a Vulcan, emotions are something I cannot relate to. They are illogical... you asshole". (Capt Kirk): Spock... Spock... am I going to have to confine you to your quarters, you sexless, logic spewing, doberman pinscher faced jackass"? (Dr. McCoy): "That would serve him right, Jim, then at least we could go out and maybe find some PURPLE chicks, and bang the living SHIT out of 'em, without having 'ol "Dart-Ears" up our asses, telling us its illogical to want to bang purple chicks". (Mr. Scott): Ay, laddies!! I could go for some 'a that purple action meself, IF you dont mind"!!! (Capt Kirk): "Scotty, we need you up here to run the ship, and make sure Lt Uhura's cans stay in her top when we go over some space bumps, you fake scottish accented, balloon faced drunk". (Mr. Scott): Ay, captain, but I go thru the space bumps on purpose so we can all get a look at Uhura's "sweater muffins" flying out of her uniform, you pompous, self centered, egomaniacal, busted down to working for Priceline.com freak". (Capt Kirk): Mis--ter Scott... If you dont get down to the engine room, and start doing whatever the fuck it is that you do, Ill tie your fat ass to a photon torpedo, and shoot you into some fucking loser planet, just to watch your Sorian Brandy soaked brains get splattered into a million pieces all over some aliens we're pretending to help, while we REALLY rape their alien women, and steal everything the transporters can carry, you bloated, lithium crystal snorting faggot". (Mr. Scott): Aaay, Captain... (Dr McCoy): See, Jim? NOW you're making some sense. We SHOULD shoot Scotty into space, even if its to see the total vacuum out there make his fat ass explode, you friggin' retard. (Mr. Spock): Yes, Jim... it is logical to watch Mr Scott explode just to study the effect of fake Scottsman brains in a weightless condition, you pumpkin headed moron". (Lt Uhura): "Hey, Sulu, want some 'a THIS action"? (Lt Sulu, in extrordinarily deep voice): "Are you sure you can handle it? My balls are the size of honeydews, you retro lookin' wanna-be sex symbol". (Lt Uhura):"OOHHH, Sulu!! I LOVE a giant honeydew balled, oriental, wanna-be Captain". (Checkov):"You KNOW, Russia not only invented oriental, wanna-be captains with giant balls that speak like they're talking into a harmonizer, but we ALSO invented huge breasted communication officers that try to look sexy, but really look like they belong in the Temptations".(Capt Kirk): "Well, thank you, gentlemen, now if you will excuse me, Im going to get beamed down to the planet that we have been terrorizing with our presence, screw all their women, drink like a fish, piss in all the corners, and generally be the asshole that you all know and love, while trying--to--sound... as--dramatic--as--possible... (Mr Spock, Dr McCoy, Mr Scott, Sulu & Uhura in unison): Ay, ay captain. Hope you get your ass dissolved into space dust when the transporter malfunctions like it does every other time we use that fucking piece of shit". (Billy Batz):"MISTER SPOCK!!! Are we gonna fix that friggin' amp, or what"? (Mr. Spock):"It is illogical to have an amp in space, Mr Batz. Who would you play to, the Klingons"? (Billy Batz):" I dont give a shit WHO I play to, get that communicator, call Captain Metropoulous, find out what the FUCK is wrong with that amp, and lets whip out some wicked Romulan blues riffs, man"!!! (NY Chief):"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?? (Eargasm, Yngwie308, Toneslinger, Zaphod & Rockstah, in unison):"Hey, YOU'RE the one with all those NY streetsmarts... cant you tell its that vicious, freaky alien known as "Fillmore NYC" from the planet "Manhattan" invading our minds, and causing us to act and think... illogically"??? (Fillmore NYC):"
" (well, anyway I COULD keep going, but I gotta explain to the wife why Im writing a Star Trek episode on an amp forum instead of going out to dinner right now!!) Thanks for the inspiration, Billy!!!
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