Links that NY Chief & Yngwie308 will DEFINITELY understand

[Eargasm]

Hey Fill!!! Hey Chief!!!
I missed ya, ya Bastards!
Been gone two years now...well, it's two years to you guys, but only a few minutes for me.
Yep, got picked-up by Aliens....
Dammit!!! Those assholes...they KNOW about this "time thing" too, but do they give a shit? Nooooooo. Jerks.
One minute I'm on the road, driving up to see George at Metro, then the next thing I know, I have a window seat and a view of the Andromeda Galaxy. The cow sitting next to me did not look very happy either. And just so you know, aliens have NO tone, AND they never heard of Joe Satriani either. (They did say they like Jeff Beck a lot though)
Anyway, before you ask - no, they did NOT "probe" me. Just a few mental experiments and that was it...no harm done to my drain...I mean my brane...uh...my brain.

Hey, did I tell you I got picked-up by Aliens? Dude, they're assholes, you wouldn't believe it...but get this - they like Jeff Beck! No kidding!...I was sitting next to a cow on the space ship and....

: ) Great to be back guys! Looking forward to your posts and assorted craziness. I see Yngwie Dave is still here too, which is great (Hey Dave!) and JimiJames too. Seems like everyone is still here - that's terrific!

Ahhhhh...good to be back!
I have to go spit into the green tube now...

[JimiJames]

Ha ! That's some funny shit, man !
...just wanna' know....Were they the dudes from the movie Heavy Metal?

Jerks, huh ?..... LIAR !

[fillmore nyc]

Ha ! That's some funny shit, man !
...just wanna' know....Were they the dudes from the movie Heavy Metal?
Jerks, huh ?..... LIAR !

Ahhh, I just GOTTA do it...

Eh, Jimi... JIMI... Les' talk, ah-ight??? If da "Ear" says e wuz took by some a dem alienz, DEN 'E WUZ TOOK BY SOME A DEM ALIENS, CAPISCE?? 'E been a friend 'a ours fo a LOOONG time, so if 'e says it, den dats da way it is an' don chew be throwin' any lip aroun' here, ya heard?? Me anna Chief an' dat Yngwie been knowin' him like fa-eva, ah-ight?? Neva mind dat Yngwie gotta funny name... you'z laugh at 'im, an you aint gonna be laughin', know what I mean?? An' don' even make me TINK about gettin' Frenchie in on dis... he starts throwin' somma dat French shit at ya?? Whadda you kiddin' me?? You'z gonna start lookin' like some character inna Picasso paintin'.


Now jus' leave da "Ear" be, an' mind ya own, cause udda-wize somma da boyz is gonna have some fun wit ya azz, but it AINT gonna be fun for ya azz, ya unnastan??

I dunno... I tink me anna boyz gotta plan a NUDDA boat trip inna East Riva. Neva mind dat concrete... we'll tell ya ALL about dat lata... but DO call ya lovely wife dere, ok??? You'z gonna be gone a while...

[Eargasm]

LMFAO!!!! (fill you are TOO much!!!! Love it!)
Jimi man! Good to see you here! And no, they weren't like in Heavy Metal...they were...well, they were nice, just not too concerned about important things like playing a guitar through a really nice stack - you know what I mean...that "stack sound" that eggs you on, and gives the sense that it enjoys you having sex (playing) with it and does everything it can to have sex with you right back?...(which I presume is why Jimi H. had that primal, "freudian slip" reaction of dry-humping his Plexi' stacks? Call me crazy, but NOTHING sounds like a plexi stack...to the point of being dry hump-able, as witnessed and endorsed by none other than the late, great, Jimi himself) But you know what I mean..."Eargasm" stuff. They just weren't concerned with Metro amps is the thing....(God! what other way is there to say it to tone heads like us? Beats me... )
Anyway I'm back, dammit, and ready for dry humpin' a '69 spec.!!!
Ah hem...George...forgive me... (Hey c'mon - I'm not the one making hump-able amps here!!!...It's George's fault!)



You guys are just the best!

Hey Fill - Is that a legitimate Italian accent I am reading out of your reply?????
I mean, I'm not questioning your vast NYC experience or anything, but rather, just wondering if you've ever worn a track suit and drove around in an IROC....

Never mind, don't answer.
I wanna hear more though! Hilarious!

[Eargasm]

(Hours later)
Jeez...everybody left the board and are now making love to their Metro's....


I feel so dirty....unclean.
Like the aliens were right, and now I've passed on a virus or something....

Oops, time to pee into the red tube....
(they made it very clear - spit into the green tube, pee into the red tube)

[fillmore nyc]

LMFAO!!!! (fill you are TOO much!!!! Love it!)

Quote: Joe Pesci, from Good Fella's:
You think Im funny?? YOU THINK IM FUNNY?? Funny how? Am I a clown? Do I amuse you? I make you laugh? Im here to fucking amuse you? How the FUCK am I funny? Whats so funny about me?? Tell me whats funny.
/

Hey Fill - Is that a legitimate Italian accent I am reading out of your reply?????
I mean, I'm not questioning your vast NYC experience or anything, but rather, just wondering if you've ever worn a track suit and drove around in an IROC....

Nope... no Sergio Tacchini's (track suit), no IROC's, no "Mr. T" starter set of gold around the neck... but NYC Italian IS deep in my blood.

I know dat Lil' It-Lee / Brooklyn lingo like itsa nudda language, ya unnastan' ?

[Eargasm]

... no "Mr. T" starter set of gold around the neck...

That's hilarious! (Never heard that one before)
I actually like the Italian/Brooklyn accent. Coming from guys it ALWAYS sounds funny no matter what! (LOL!) but from chicks it's just down-right adorable. Man, the first time I saw Marisa Tomei in "My Cousin Vinnie" I just fell in love with her character!
She made me want to move to Brooklyn just because of the way she talked! (Of course it didn't hurt that she's gorgeous as well)
I envy you fill if it's really like that over there and you get to hear girls like that talk all the time. "Sheila's" I think they are called?
Man, coming from the mid-west I NEVER get to hear it, which is a shame.
You know, that's one thing that is starting to bother me. Did you know there's a change happening in Europe where the people are starting to adapt a mid-west American accent when they speak english? In England it's really big with the younger crowd...they're all dropping their english accent, and now they just sound like they're from the American mid-west. It's weird, and I don't like it. Their native accent sounds so much more beautiful to my ears...it's highly-refined and has an elegance to it, you know? I'd hate to see that fall from their culture. And it's not just England either, now the younger crowd in France is doing it too! Fuck! I feel like telling all those beautiful french women - DO NOT lose that gorgeous accent! It's happening in Ireland, and Italy too from what I hear. All of them are starting to speak english with my crude - midwest American accent.
And I have absolutely no idea why they would want to do that...
Are there any European members here that can shed a little light on the subject?

[fillmore nyc]

I actually like the Italian/Brooklyn accent. Coming from guys it ALWAYS sounds funny no matter what! (LOL!) but from chicks it's just down-right adorable.

Oh, man you would get a REAL kick out of my wife if you like that sorta thing. She is a REAL contrast between being WAY good looking (very strong resemblance to Demi Moore...) but she has that Brooklyn accent thru and thru. I really dont notice it much anymore, but if I pay attention to it, it almost doesnt go together to have that "accent" coming from her. My nieces from California LOVE to imitate her!! My wife has become sorta self conscious about it, and occasionally tries to overcome it, but she might as well give up trying... Its in her bones.

I envy you fill if it's really like that over there and you get to hear girls like that talk all the time. "Sheila's" I think they are called?
Man, coming from the mid-west I NEVER get to hear it, which is a shame.

I gotta say, you're the first person I've ever heard say that a NYC / Brooklyn accent (ESPECIALLY on a woman) is endearing!! I mean, the way I write "Brooklyn-eeze" in the above posts IS a bit exaggerated, but that really depends on where you are within the city limits. Some of my younger years were spent in Brownsville, Brooklyn, and you could cut the accent THERE with a knife. Its REALLY heavy among Italians.
The lower east side of Manhattan (Little Italy) is like that too... the section from Bowery to 6th Ave (east to west), and south to north from Canal St to W. Houston is like right out of Good Fellas. (And if you're from the city, W. Houston is pronounced West How-Stin, NOT like Texans pronounce Houston, which sounds like He-Yousten).

Everybody in Little Italy thinks they're Mafioso, but its cool and a lot of fun to head there and have a meal. All the restaurateur's stand in the doorway of their restaurants, calling out at anyone and everyone that walks by to get them inside for a meal and a glass of wine. If you're with a good looking woman?? They'll not only be calling out to her, they'll also be shouting down the block to "Vincenzo" that you're coming:
"Eh, Vincenzo... look at dis' piece comin' to you now... she don' belong wit 'im... send 'er back ova here, ah-ight"??!!

"Sen' 'er back ta YOU?? Vaffanculo!! Im keepin' 'er fa' myself!! Whaddo I look ta you, stunad"??

Its all in fun though. It DOES help to understand Italian, which I do a little, but my wife understands it completely, so they cant get over on her at all!!

BTW, I've never heard of the term "Sheila's"... we would refer to women with that accent as Guidette's. And consequently, a guy with that accent is either a "Guido", or a "Ginzo", of which I prefer to think of myself as neither, but again... the NY accent is inescapable.
Me, NitroLiq and Chief met for Les Paul at the Irridium a couple of years ago... Nitro is still a NY'er, but for as long as Chief's been in So Cal, he still sounds NY to the bone. He cant escape it either!!

[NY Chief]

Hey, YO!!!! I AIN'T GOT NOOO ACCENT. YOUS HERE ME, OK????

I've been in CA since '94 and my wife says she still only understands every other werd. And, when I go back to visit for a few days she says it takes me a week for her to understand ANYTHING! We recently were back for a good ole Italian wedding, poor girl couldn't unnerstand anybody!

I dunno about the chicks my NY accents. Joanne Testaverde (Vinny's big sister) used to scare when I walked in the bar... "Hey, Chieffo!! Where da fuck you been????"

[fillmore nyc]

I've been in CA since '94 and my wife says she still only understands every other werd. And, when I go back to visit for a few days she says it takes me a week for her to understand ANYTHING!

Is your wife originally from Cali, Chief? Folks from almost ANYWHERE can spot our accent from a mile away... except we all know "dat' we aint got no accent... DEY got da accent".

(And dont even get me STARTED on the hands... if you handcuff an Italian NY'er, they cant talk. Even MY wife says my hands are always flyin' around when Im talking, but she's got a pair to even say that... shit, you gotta be careful she doesnt poke your eye out if SHE'S trying to make a point about something.)

[NY Chief]

My Sweeeetie is originally from Salt Lake, filly. She is still “recovering”….

Speakin of da hand issue…here’s another one for Earg…( I gotta million of ‘em… )

Got a new job and was being walked around by my boss. We got to a stairway landing and just as I was “splaining” something with my hands in the air a guy came around the corner and I poked him right in the f’n eye!

A few weeks later I was down in the shop talking with a guy and another guy comes by. The first guy asks me “Have you met Bobby yet?” I answered “I don’t think so”. Bobby puts his hand over his eye and says ………………………………………..“..oh yeah, you have…..”

[fillmore nyc]

My Sweeeetie is originally from Salt Lake, filly. She is still “recovering”….

Speakin of da hand issue…here’s another one for Earg…( I gotta million of ‘em… )

Got a new job and was being walked around by my boss. We got to a stairway landing and just as I was “splaining” something with my hands in the air a guy came around the corner and I poked him right in the f’n eye!

A few weeks later I was down in the shop talking with a guy and another guy comes by. The first guy asks me “Have you met Bobby yet?” I answered “I don’t think so”. Bobby puts his hand over his eye and says ………………………………………..“..oh yeah, you have…..”

(Chief: "Eh... Bobby... BOBBY!! NEX' time, if ya try listenin' betta, you wouldn' GET poked in your STOOPIT fuckin' eye, ah-ight?? Anyways, you DO got two a' dem... Stop whinin' about DAT one or Ill 'splain ya somethin' else an' get ya inna UDDA eye, unnastan'?? / )

("Bobby" / )

[Eargasm]

Dammit, I had a whole thing typed up, and then accidentally unplugged my monitor while trying to adjust the angle of it (new iMac) Hate it when that happens...

You guys kill me!

Fill, a huge congrats for being in love and sharing your life with, someone that looks like Demi Moore! Holy shit dude - jackpot!
I bow to you sir while you stand knowingly
I know what you mean about her accent "not fitting" with the way she looks though. To me that would make her even more interesting and cuter. I'd hate to see her get self-conscious about it though - she shouldn't. In fact, you should tell her there's at least one guy on the Metro boards that digs that sort-of thing. (Don't tell her in a creepy "internet stalker" kind-of way though, don't even mention my name!!!! Just tell her in a way that she might feel a little better about it, that's all.)
But yeah, I dig the Italian accent thing. It's weird though, any accent coming from the ladies, makes them sound cute, but coming from guys, it can be anything from making them sound stupid, to funny, to cynical asshole, to smart as hell. But with women it's not like that...they just sound cuter no matter what. I guess that's because I am Hetero (not that it matters, I don't give a shit what kind of sex people like to have, and I don't judge people on their sexual preferences) but it could be that I like culture and different people too. (I'm not a racist either)
The only thing I can't stand - is that nasally "Fran Drescher" type-of thing. Can't stand to hear women talk like that, and I know it's not their fault, but man - I just can't listen too it...it's like someone scraping their nails down a chalkboard to my ears.

BUT- the flailing hands thing - BE CAREFUL BRO!!!! That's fucking serious, because it's NEVER their fault, you know? And they WILL nail you! (no pun intended) The thing is, when they do, they're like "It's not MY fault, it's my nails' fault"...
It seems like they think that, since their nails are for beauty, anything that stems from them in any way - is NOT their fault, so yeah - this shit actually happens.
When she is passionately discussing something - PLEASE MAN - wear approved eye protection, okay?
Personally, I wouldn't discourage her from doing it, because you don't want to turn her into a self-conscious neurotic nut, you know? But I would maybe just wear eye protection and then look at her while she doing it, holding up a sign that says "Rock on"


Man, I gotta get to Little Italy someday though...talk about a blast! I'd love it!

Chief you DO have a million of 'em!!! You have to share more too man...I love reading them and I am sure everyone else does too. I know I look forward to reading your stories, I can tell you that!
Loved the one about Bobby - freaking hilarious! Dude, you should just start a series of "Did I tell you about the time..." posts. It would be a scream and I think people would love it. Me and fill do, and he has some great stories too, excellent ones, but you are the undeniable freaking KING!!
You guys are just fucking awesome man...

[NY Chief]

filly, what say we make Earg an honorary NY'er?

[fillmore nyc]

filly, what say we make Earg an honorary NY'er?

Yeah, its GOTTA be dat way... I mean, he DID disappear fo' while. Maybe one-a our "friends" tol' 'im ta make 'imself scarce?? 'E used a good cova-up wit dat alien story... Im sure dat threw da Fed's fo a loop. In my book, dat jus' makes 'im even MO' legit, so yeah... Its done.

Ear... repeat afta US (me anna Chiefy):

"I, da Ear, do give my solemn oat (YEAH, YO' SOLEMN OAT) in fronna God, an' Mrs. DiChillemo... ('er Linguini Pescatore Is STRAIGHT outta heaven, I swear) dat Im gonna uphold all dat is sacred in 'dis city, whedda dat means sometin' simple like someday meetin' one a da boys fo a nice sit down at Paesano's,


OR, somtin' NOT so simple like takin' a wise guy out fo' a boat ride.


Also, I unnastan dat if I happen ta BREAK any Cardinal Rules (which me anna Chief kinda make up as we'z goin' along), one-a two tings is gonna happen: Im eitha gonna lose my thumb to "Bedbug Frenchie", or Im gonna hafta have a meeting wit Dr. Evil himself, da universally feared "Yng308".

(Ear... we like you'z... DON' break no Cardinal Rules, ah-ight?? When it comes ta Frenchie or Yng, its NOT gonna be good fo you, but DEY'Z gonna be havin' mo' fun den goin' ta da amusement park, a-kay?? You'z DON" wan' dem bein' DAT happy, trus' me.

(Its jus' da nature a' da game, Im sure ya unnastan.)

So now dat we had dis' lil' talk, we didn' HAVE no talk, ah-ight?? I mean, some shit has been said, but dere wasnt no shit said, ya got it??

Anyways, we'z now pronounce you'z a Honorary NYC resident. You'z ALWAYS been a friend a our'z, but NOW, you'z a FRIEND a our'z, wit all dat may or may NOT imply, cause we aint said nuttin here today, capisce??