Bass Player Joke

flemingmras · Post by **flemingmras** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 1:34 am

A keyboard player buys his son a bass for Christmas along with lessons.

The son goes to his first lesson. He comes back an hour later and the father asks "So how did the lesson go?"

The son replies "Great...learned all the notes on the E string."

Next week he goes to another lesson. Comes back an hour later and again the father asks "So how did the lesson go?"

The son replies "Great...learned all the notes on the A string."

Next week he goes to another lesson, but doesn't come back until about 5 hours later. The father asks "So how did the lesson go?"

The son replies "I didn't go to the lesson."

So the father asks "Why not? And if you didn't go to the lesson where the hell were you for the last 5 hours?"

The son replies "I had a gig."

tonejones · Post by **tonejones** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 4:07 am

I've got a few of those.......

Q: How many Bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb???

A: Zero, the keyboard player does it with his left hand

Alternate Answer: One, but the guitar player's gotta show him how to do it.

Billy Batz · Post by **Billy Batz** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 12:10 pm

This ones been around for a long time but just in case

How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to plug it in and hold it steady while the world revolves around him.

flemingmras · Post by **flemingmras** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 12:27 pm

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

7...one to hold the bulb and 6 to drink until the room spins.

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...one to do it and the other to say "I could've done it better".

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just 2, but how the hell did they get in there in the first place?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 1:29 pm

One last one; how many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they have machines that can do that!!!!

Country Boy Shane · Post by **Country Boy Shane** » Tue Dec 27, 2005 12:07 pm

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 27, 2005 3:09 pm

How many guitarists does it take to crew ina light bulb?

21, One to screw it in and 20 to say " I can do that too."

texwest · Post by **texwest** » Tue Dec 27, 2005 3:12 pm

That was me above. forgot to log in and excuse the typos

flemingmras · Post by **flemingmras** » Tue Dec 27, 2005 3:36 pm

OK I posted that joke like 4 posts ago.

texwest · Post by **texwest** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:48 am

well gee Fleming, mine is a little different. If you go to see a hot guitar player don't you think there's more than ONE guitarist in the audience saying they could do what that person is doing. To quote Rockstah "The difference between you and them is that you are actually doing it" My joke is about wannabee's who aren't really doing it. Your joke is about someone saying they could do it better.

flemingmras · Post by **flemingmras** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:26 am

Yeah but it's basically the same exact joke, just worded a little differently and with 19 more guitarists involved. Same punchline.

caver · Post by **caver** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:31 am

This reminded me of the one armed bass player,,,
but it isn't a joke.
Check video.

http://kzoomusicgroup.com/video/bill320.wmv[/url]

Country Boy Shane · Post by **Country Boy Shane** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:00 am

That d00d is RAD!

rjgtr · Post by **rjgtr** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:46 am

So a family of missionaries goes to the Congo. As they are leaving the airport they hear drums in the distance. They ask the guide, "Is this anything to worry about?".

"No, No." says the guide, "everything is fine nothing to worry about.

They travel for hours with drums still playing in the background. They finally get to their destination, which is the mission. As they unpack and get ready for the evening meal the drums are still playing. The missionaries ask the guide "Are you sure everything is fine?".

"Yes, Yes. There is nothing to worry about".

After the meal they are sitting on the porch enjoying the breeze when suddenly the drums stop. The guide gets a horrified look on his face. The missionaries ask, "Is there something to worry about?".

With a look of dread on his face, the guide responds "Oh yes ... it's the bass solo!"

sub · Post by **sub** » Wed Dec 28, 2005 2:28 pm

caver wrote:This reminded me of the one armed bass player,,,
but it isn't a joke.
Check video.

http://kzoomusicgroup.com/video/bill320.wmv[/url]

One armed guy is 2x better musician like two armed drumer guy IMO