Darwin awards

Post by **VelvetGeorge** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:56 pm

Just got this year's list:

> >>> >>In case you haven't received them yet, here are this
> >>year's Darwin Awards
> >>-- the annual honor given to the person who improved
> >>the "gene pool" the
> >>most by killing themselves in the most
> >>extraordinarily stupid way. As
> >>always, competition this year has been keen. And
> >>the candidates this year
> >>are.............
> >>
> >>* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and
> >>drowned in two feet of water
> >>after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide
> >>sewer grate to retrieve
> >>his car keys.
> >>
> >>* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
> >>"totally zoned when he ran,
> >>--accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on
> >>his daily run.
> >>
> >>* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an
> >>8-foot-deep hole he had dug into
> >>the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers
> >>said Daniel Jones, 21,
> >>dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,
> >>and had been sitting in a
> >>beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it
> >>collapsed, burying him
> >>beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the
> >>outer banks, used their
> >>hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to
> >>Jones, a resident of
> >>Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took
> >>rescue workers using heavy
> >>equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
> >>people looked on.
> >>Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
> >>
> >>* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA,
> >>as he fell face-first
> >>through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
> >>burglarizing. Death was caused
> >>when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth
> >>(to keep his hands free)
> >>rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
> >>floor.
> >>
> >>
> >>* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
> >>Selbyville, Del, as he won a
> >>bet with friends who said he would not put a
> >>revolver loaded with four
> >>bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
> >>
> >>
> >>HONORABLE MENTION:
> >>* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
> >>township, NJ, and his wife
> >>Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of
> >>dynamite blew up in their
> >>car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
> >>lit the dynamite and tried
> >>to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
> >>but apparently
> >>failed to notice the window was closed.
> >>
> >>
> >>RUNNER UP:
> >>
> >>
> >>* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
> >>several friends when one
> >>of them said they knew a person who had
> >>bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
> >>Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The
> >>conversation grew more heated
> >>and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
> >>the bridge at
> >>4:30 AM.
> >>Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they
> >>discovered that no one had
> >>brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
> >>drinking, volunteered and
> >>pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay
> >>nearby.
> >>One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's
> >>leg and the other end was
> >>tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
> >>the cable tightened and
> >>tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
> >>survived his fall into the
> >>icy river water and was rescued by two nearby
> >>fishermen. "All I can say"
> >>said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me
> >>on that night.
> >>There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's
> >>foot was never located.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>AND THE WINNER:
> >>
> >>
> >>Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
> >>(Paderborn, Germany) fed his
> >>constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal
> >>laxative and more than a
> >>bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
> >>plugged-up pachyderm finally
> >>let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200
> >>pounds of poop!
> >>Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
> >>attempting to give the
> >>ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved
> >>beast unloaded on him.
> >>"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected
> >>defecation knocked Mr.
> >>Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on
> >>a rock and lay
> >>unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate
> >>his bowels on top of him"
> >>said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik
> >>Dern. '
> >>With no one there to help him, he lay under all that
> >>dung for at least an
> >>hour before a watchman came along, and during that
> >>time he suffocated. It
> >>seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
> >>proves that "Shit
> >>happens!"
>

Flames1950 · Post by **Flames1950** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:05 pm

HOLY SHIT!!

Those freakin' kill me!!!

Country Boy Shane · Post by **Country Boy Shane** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:31 pm

Thanks George, i've been waiting for someone to forward these to me!

rockstah · Post by **rockstah** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:31 pm

crazy stuff there!

Billy Batz · Post by **Billy Batz** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:32 pm

I love these things. I really do...

BrownSound1 · Post by **BrownSound1** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:05 pm

Scattered, smothered, and covered...damn.

Country Boy Shane · Post by **Country Boy Shane** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:47 pm

Who the hell owns quarter-sticks anyway? That one had to be some redneck.

dirtydeeds22 · Post by **dirtydeeds22** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:54 am

DUDE!!!

Jeff

saborthw · Post by **saborthw** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 12:18 am

Scott

5150loveeddie · Post by **5150loveeddie** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 12:38 am

Necrovore · Post by **Necrovore** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 7:29 pm

Country Boy Shane wrote:Who the hell owns quarter-sticks anyway? That one had to be some redneck.

sounds like the old classic blackbuster firecracker. Blockbusters were 1/4 stick.

Country Boy Shane · Post by **Country Boy Shane** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 7:44 pm

I think i'm recalling something pretty significant to this story, being that it relates with my family. My dad has some quarter-stick from back in the 70's that got stored away in our motorhome and one day back in '94 he rediscovered it by luck! We were at my Aunt's when he decided to put it under a rubbermaid garbage can that was turned upside down. BANG! That biotch exploded into a hundred pieces! Some came out of the sky about a minute later...

So i'm basically admitting i'm white trash. Cool.

rockstah · Post by **rockstah** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 8:06 pm

Necrovore · Post by **Necrovore** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 11:07 pm

Nah man I wouldnt go that far. Back when you could still buy them at firework stands (circa 1979-80) Those and the small bottle rockets (essentially a black cat with propulsion fuel added to it) were all we kids bought. Then off to make some hellacious fireworks wars. The Blockbusters we never used in our mock battles though, we knew better. They were used for fishing and doing what your dad did. They also were brilliant flushing a lit one down toilets at school and office buildings. the wick was one of those waterproof kinds. Light, flush, scram. Only to hear a big whoomp a minute later with water spewing everywhere.

Yes I was a juvenile delinquent. Proud of it too.

Billy Batz · Post by **Billy Batz** » Fri Jan 27, 2006 12:31 pm

I was one for doign shit like tapping oen to one of those opull string hellicopters so you would light the fuse, pull the thing and the hellicopter would take off and never come down. At least nothing lerger then a bit. I think everyone strapped rocket engines to action figures. Thats a requisite to growing up cmon.